After My Death The Villain Blackened Again: Chapter 3
ARC 0: TOO INFURIATING TO ALWAYS BE EATEN
Yan Ge's expression changed at his words. She hadn’t been able to shake off the space when he suddenly opened his mouth and sucked her inside.
Yan Ge: F*** your ancestors2! Laoniang's going to smash your teeth out!
She failed to grab his teeth, and like every other time, she was swallowed into his stomach the moment he sucked in.
No one else could see this man whose entire body was covered in black mist.
What the spectators suddenly realized was that in the blink of an eye, the singer whose every frown and smile could move a person, had turned into a corpse, and it was a rotting one with indiscernible features.
The corpse slammed against Song Qian’s body with a peng before slipping to the ground right in front of Lin Mingzhe...
This impactful scene was really too dreadful. Everyone immediately shrieked and recoiled away. Eventually, someone came to their senses and called the police.
The authorities soon arrived to clear the scene.
After DNA identification, the female corpse was verified to be the singer, Yan Ge. She had been missing for a long time. Her family members and agents all thought she was still on vacation abroad, but from her body’s appearance, she should have been dead for some time.
Not only that, the official autopsy found that Yan Ge had consumed a deadly quantity of sleeping pills and died a little over a month ago.
After hearing this official briefing, the people who watched the catfighting drama were all scared without exception, and their souls could not return to them for a long, long time.
Lin Mingzhe was directly frightened into madness. From the words he kept repeating, the police soon found the apartment building Yan Ge stayed at while abroad and determined her case to be intentional homicide.
Song Qian quibbled the entire time. She pushed everything onto Lin Mingzhe, saying that she was also an unsuspecting victim.
Although heaven's net had wide mashes, nothing escapes from it3. The video of the day Yan Ge's 'corpse moved' spread all over the internet. Soon, someone stepped up to testify about Song Qian buying sleeping pills from a pharmacy...
In the previous life, Yan Ge's body was discovered more than 50 days after her death, which ultimately confirmed the propagated news about her 'suicide from depression'. The dead could not speak of their injustice.
---
Yan Ge lay boneless under her big tree. Although it was thick enough to be hugged by a person, it only had three or four branches.
Her weak and dispirited hand summoned the resentful soul of 'Yan Ge'. The black grievance that came to her before was probably due to her immense hatred and desire for revenge. It was now a misty white spirit.
"Go!" Yan Ge waved her hand. As if it had been flung away, the soul soared towards the hazy horizon.
Yan Ge was a tree demon4. At the beginning of heaven and earth, her tree sprouted in this place. She fed on the cherished desires of women in the world and waited for her sago palm tree to produce seeds5. When that happens, she was going leave this blind spot of a place.
She may be a tree, but she wasn’t willing to remain a solitary one.
Her eyes squinted up at the luxuriant leaves of the largest branch where she thought something was beginning to sprout. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a dung beetle instead.
Every time she painstakingly earned fertilizer, it would all be intercepted by that guy. Whenever she was 'eaten' by him, there was one less branch on the tree.
If this continued, she was going to become bald.
A voice at the top of her head yelled: Yi, don't tell me you’ve strolled a circuit around that guy’s land of five grains6 again!"
Not waiting for Yan Ge to respond, the voice shouted again: "Have you washed yet? No wonder I smelled a stench. Hurry up and rub yourself inside and out. Don't kill my nostrils."
Yan Ge had just emerged from the tree form. She had no energy left and remained paralyzed on the tree. She replied weakly: "Ji Zai7, your brain moves so fast, can't you give me a solution? If I keep getting eaten up like this, my tree will go bald before it produces any seeds. "
When it heard that name, Ji Ze let out a howl. Not even bothering to avoid Yan Ge's stench, it flew directly on top of her head and used its two claws to rub her hair into a bird's nest. It screamed as if its feathers had exploded: "What did you call me?!"
Yan Ge sighed: "I didn't wash my hair!"
"Ugh, **** you!" Ji Zai shrieked as it flew back into the tree branches: "If you die, Laozi will go find another tree and save myself from your stink."
Yan Ge had been eaten by the guy several times in succession and was in no mood to crack jokes; her breath was present, but her vigor was gone8. She paid no mind to the Ji Zai that obviously wanted to be placated.
Fortunately, Ji Zai’s temper was fast to go as it was fast to come. After fleeing helter-skelter onto a branch, it landed on top of Yan Ge's chest where it proceeded to stamp down on the level part before offering her advice in a cocky manner: "Next time, try to seal your ability. How can he find you without qi breath9?"
- **** your mother’s eggs (擦你娘的蛋 — cā nǐ niáng de dànYet another colorful ‘eff you’ curse. ‘Eggs’ have a promiscuous meaning, so I guess this is more like ‘F you, you mother******’↩︎
- T/Nan alternate 'eff you’ curse. The transliteration for this is ‘flip your damned/f***ing ancestors’ coffin’. Usually, the severity of a curse increases with the generation one directs it to, so ancestors should be right up there. Their remains weren’t even spared in this particular curse. But note, this intensifier isn't a hard fast rule↩︎
- Heaven's net has wide mashes, but nothing escapes from it (天网恢恢- tiān wǎng huī huī)in this situation it also means ‘you can’t escape the long arm of the law’↩︎
- Tree demon (树魅 — shù mèi)the character for demon here is a type of ghost thought to be beautiful and charming (another meaning for the character). This kind of demon is said to be ‘good’ since they give people a favorable opinion. You can say they’re positively charming↩︎
- Sago palm tree (铁树 — tiě shù)literally translates to tiě (iron/strong/unshakeable) shù (tree). Random fact: sago palms are a member one of the oldest plant families in the world↩︎
- Five grains (五谷 — wǔ gǔ)means all crops/grains or the 5 main grains (barley, rice, sesame, soybean, & millet). I'm not sure why Ji Zai decided to describe Yan Ge's digestive trip in the ML’s body like this↩︎
- Jī Zǎi (鸡崽)literally means Jī (fowl/chicken; prostitute) Zǎi (‘young animal’)↩︎
- Breath is present, but vigor is absent (有气无力 — yǒu qì wúlì)means to be in low spirits or feel lifeless↩︎
- Qi breath (气息 — qì xī)qi is a vital energy present in all things. If Yan Ge covers up her own qi (aka qi breath), then her existence can’t be sensed↩︎
Im crying i cant stop laughing, I keep rereading the same paragraph of the reactions people watching the stream had when they heard that shes been dead for a while. fuck i gotta bookmark this, its too hilarious.
ReplyDelete